


yours

by ㅎㅊ도 (HChnD)



Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Multi, Not A Polyamory Story, Pining, Unrequited Love, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29792940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HChnD/pseuds/%E3%85%8E%E3%85%8A%EB%8F%84
Summary: kun always kept his thoughts to himself, watching, loving.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Qian Kun, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Qian Kun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	yours

**Author's Note:**

> hello, people who did not miss me. haven't posted in here in a while, i don't even remember how to post but don't worry, i forgot how to write as well. this idea is literally 2, maybe even 3 years old (hence it's for a group i haven't written for a good while and don't even stan anymore?) and i decided to write it to try to turn my gears and finish the many wips i have rotting, because that's my only writing goal of the year, to clean my wip folder (that are mostly complex fics that'll be hella long). but eh. whatever. why am i writing these notes

kun has always wanted to love, to feel loved. he was in love with love ever since he has realized what that meant. he's always dreamed of being with someone, of cherishing someone, of spending time with them and building a shared life with this special one. he's gotten his good share of crushes as he grew up, even attempted to turn these dreams into reality a couple of times, but it was never meant to be. kun could donate all of himself, could play it hard, could try to balance it out. he would try it all, but it would always end. and it was okay, he was aware that love was something you had to test out again and again until you finally found the one.

it was probably what made love so special. what made it more than just simply liking someone or being with someone.

sicheng was different. he was quiet, handsome, mysterious. but that was only at first, and kun knew better. his shy persona wasn't exactly fake but not all that sicheng could be. he was talkative, quite devilish when he was comfortable, a bratty didi. yet he could barely express that back then, speaking a language not many could understand. 

which is why they were often close. there weren't that many chinese speakers around and sicheng just glued on to kun. not that he was complaining, it helped him to see a side that would take years to blossom in its full glory. it made him see a person he'd learn to love. 

he was kun's first real love. 

it was unclear the moment he fell for the younger, but between their friendly bicker to practice hours, from moments of vulnerability to receiving the good news of debuting, kun learned how to love dong sicheng.

but then he had to go. kun has had his first feature in a song, but he was not ready to face the world. sicheng though had his moment to shine. 

it wasn't much hurtful to have a sudden gap. he had always watched and cheered on the younger, nothing was different. the distance was bigger, but it felt all the same. 

besides, he wasn't alone. he had jungwoo and xuxi, and he was the bridge between the two. sure the latter didn't speak mandarin as well as he or sicheng did, but it was still better than the only language the former could communicate on. thus, kun found himself sticking into them. it felt weird to see the other more on screens than in person but he grew used to it, distracted himself with the two newer friends and it became his every day. 

xuxi was nothing alike sicheng. even with the language barrier he was _loud_ , extremely vocal and bubbly. he was like a real-life puppy while sicheng was a mysterious kitten. xuxi would mix up the few words he knew in korean with cantonese and english, would move his hands around and be very expressive with his eyes. kun found himself fond of his perks, found him fawning at his personality, found himself giggling at every joke and even every _thought_ of the taller man.

kun found himself falling in love a second time.

loving xuxi was as natural as loving sicheng. he didn't realize when it started, but once it clicked in his head, he couldn't not treasure the younger. couldn't stop adoring their talks, couldn't stop wanting to see him happy and happy only. kun only wanted the best for him, and it would be much better if he could do it beside him, but it wasn't much of an issue to watch it from far away.

so becoming a group with him was a great thing for kun. and not only that, but he was finally with sicheng as well. no words could describe how much he cherished being with the two people he's loved the most like that in his life. it made him truly fulfilled to see them bonding, to see them shining, and doing all of that near him, beside him. 

kun was happy. 

but he started feeling things he's never felt before. feelings that hurt, that sting, that brought a dark side within him he didn't even know he could have.

the looked xuxi gave sicheng, the playful tone in sicheng's tone that was directed only at xuxi, the way they stayed close... it was not something kun had expected.

it was a weird feeling. it felt like poison, as if he was being burned from inside, but he'd be lying if it didn't have beauty in itself. as beautiful as sicheng was on his own, as beautiful as xuxi was on his own, the two of them were still a precious scene. their beauty shined much more when they were together. maybe kun was a bit of a masochist deep inside, but watching them made him happy as much as it made his chest tight.

he learned to enjoy the pain if it meant adoring them even more. they were his, in a way. his first and second love, his precious two didis, his teammates. he couldn't leave it behind.

kun couldn't stop loving them, even if they loved each other and not him.


End file.
